Monday, April 5, 2010

Drive-by Movie: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

Let’s face it, we don’t all watch films and Trololol men in the ideal conditions in which they were intended to be seen. Sometimes you’re sitting at home in your rainbow-coloured slanket flicking through channels and you just land 37 minutes into The Monster Squad only to realise that it’s not actually a kid’s film at all, it’s just about kids who in fact call eachother faggots and homos a lot. Other times you’re simply in the same room as The Ugly Truth, hiding behind a pillow and praying that you don’t die alone. And that Katherine Heigl does. Then there are those moments when you’re watching a film in bed, on your computer, in your Precious’s mother head-scarf and for whatever reason you just want to get it over with so you skip through to parts that look interesting. And that’s a drive-by.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

Reason(s) for skipping: A heady combo of sleep deprivation and the film itself being basically unwatchable. It states from the start that it has nothing to do with the original film, but it fails to mention that it also has nothing to do with things making sense and being enjoyable.

Percentage actually watched: Around 10%. I was about fifteen minutes in (and two extended musical numbers, oh lord) when I gave up and decided to make it go by faster. And then this happened:

What I think it’s all about: Sex and drugs and stuff. And iconic shots of women either naked or in their underpants:

Trailer Quote: “It’s like the original... on acid!” – Someone who has never taken acid

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