Thursday, February 18, 2010

What's in the BAAHX?!

The Box (2009)

Featuring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, One half of Frank Langella's face

What’s all this then?: Cameron Diaz and James Marsden are given a fancy box and A HUGE MORAL DILEMMA by Frank Langella and one half of his face. If they push the button they’ll receive a million dollars but since there’s NO SUCH THING AS A FREE MAGIC BOX OF MONEY, someone who they don’t know will die. In this age of economic decline and vast unemployment we know that free magic boxes of money are really at a premium so there has to be a catch. Also, as we know, it’s 1976 again because it’s the absolute best time period ever to set a piece of freaked-out horror psycho-drama.

And what about the other half of Langella’s face?: Well let’s just say it’s not there anymore. I don’t want to give any spoilers but it has something to do with Mars. I think.

Hold on there now: Yeah this is from the director of Donnie Darko and Southland Tales (shudder) so it’s all a bit cuckoo. Wait, don’t jump through that poorly-executed CGI wormhole just yet! Whilst I think that Donnie Darko loses its appeal for most people after their teens and that everything in Southland Tales that wasn’t Sarah Michelle Gellar was, to quote Pulling, a bit… shit, this one is actually decent. It even kind of makes sense here and there, and when it doesn’t its busy building up a genuinely uneasy atmosphere that you’ll enjoy experiencing.

We don’t have time for this goddammit!: Calm down Taken, here’s a handy pie-chart.

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