Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sir, have you Taken something? (Ho ho!)


A conversation with this guy on the 140 bus out to Finglas (2010)

Featuring: Me, This Guy, The 140 bus out to Finglas

What’s all this then?: I was taking the bus to someone’s house in Finglas, which if you don’t know Dublin let’s just say it’s not the most amazing suburb in the city but definitely not the worst either. I feel I should preface all this by saying I was with that lunatic magnet friend that everyone has who’s like “why do they pick on ME?” and you always know exactly why but can’t quite put it into words for them. Anyway a fairly well-dressed man stumbles to the top floor of the bus (yes, we have buses with stairs and everything!) and sets his Major Lazer beam of crazy directly onto my friend and sits down beside us.

Then wha' happen?: In a bold opening salvo he comes out with “ratchet-clank-turrible – have ya see that film Taken with Liam Neeson?”. Everything is being directed at me because I’m giving him actual eye contact and nodding energetically while my friend stares very theatrically away from us and out the window. Now I haven’t seen the film Taken with Liam Neeson but I have a general idea of what it’s about and would very much like to know where this is going. So I nod and say “oh yeah”:

This Guy: Ah-cha-cha-cha – shur ya couldn’t trust the bum boys – blabla-mumble-gargle – Jayzus listen to yer parents now and I’ll tell ya one thing, if you’re ever to see a beautiful young girl who’s givin’ it all up with no fight then watch out cause she’s workin’ with a bum boy and she’ll spike yer drink and then, then I’ll tell ya what, then yer fucked – garble-garble-mutter-fuckin’ foreigners.

Me (nodding): Right.

This Guy: Garble-gargle-ble-ble-ble – ah ya look like a good lad now so be careful garble-mutter – cause you’d be paralysed and you’d know what’s goin’ on and wouldn’t be able to do anythin’ – mutter-garble-fuckin-foreigners – Ah Jayzus it’s me stop, I’ll see yis.

Me: Take it easy.

So, in summary: I really can’t wait to see that film Taken with Liam Neeson.

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