Friday, October 16, 2009
The Final Destination in MF-ing 3D (2009)
My hopes for The Final Destination 3D:
1) That the dream I had about this very long, boring scene where Debi Mazar walks to a deli in New York in the dead of night and then nothing happens, actually happens. In Dolby Digital 3D!
2) It finishes with a preview for La Destination Définitive, with the action moving to a winery in Provence where moody French teens smoke cigarettes and throw cutting remarks at one another. The end. In Dolby Digital 3D!
What I thought would actually happen: Boring people I don't care about who I just assume are from Gossip Girl or something die in less interesting ways than they did before. In Dolby Digital 3D!
What actually happened: See above. Directly above - not the interesting stuff, don't be silly.
Best part: I saw this in Kuala Lumpur and it turns out Malaysian audiences don't full-on guffaw at horrible dialogue like I do. It reminded me of the time I went to see The Rules of Attraction in Dublin and felt like a murderer cause I was the only person who laughed at all throughout the whole thing. Others were tutt-ing and tsk-ing.
Other best part: Some guy and this other guy rush into a hospital ward to save this mangled guy, only to find him crawling, bandaged and blood-smeared, across the room. Then a gigantic bath falls on him. The next scene sees the guy and the other guy walking jauntily from the hospital happily declaring: I think we're onto something!!
Level of crazy: It's no My Bloody Valentine 3D. 5.