Friday, June 5, 2009

The Original Bro-mance

Cruising (1980)

Starring: Al Pacino, Paul Sorvino, Karen Allen

The Gist: If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise. Cause today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic. That is, if by the woods you mean San Francisco, and by surprise you mean gayness. And replace teddy bears with Al Pacino, and picnic with more gayness. Then you add some ambiguity about everything that’s going on, not so much to help the film but mainly cause it was produced at the tail-end of the 70s and people were coo-coo-bananas for that back then. That’s Cruising, though I think the original title was probably something like Homo Killer on the Prowl.

And then what happens?: Think of it like a buddy movie where one of the guy’s is Al Pacino and the other one is the gay S&M scene of San Francisco in 1980. At the start they don’t really see eye to eye but after a while they earn a mutual respect and share some common ground. In this case what I’ve assumed to be a poppers hanky. The hanky was dark blue, and I’ll be testing you on what that means at the end.

See it for: The ‘Getting Gay With Al’ montages. Paul Sorvino’s inexplicable limp. The parts that make no sense. The ‘Sniffing the Hanky’ montage. The big black guy in underpants and a cowboy hat who appears from nowhere and slaps Al around a little. All those other parts that make no sense.

Level of Crazy: 10. Did you get it? It means he may have something for you in the back. I say matron!

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