Thursday, April 2, 2009

Bar Elegant & Unique. Ha.


Victor’s Bar 1 and 2

Drummond St, Melbourne

Starring: Betty Boop statues, Naked lady statues, Photos of old celebrities looking shocked at coffee shops

The Gist: According to the brochure:

Victor’s 1 and Victor’s 2, set in the heart of Carlton, (five doors down from eachother) are a rarity of sorts. Owner Victor has created two stylish venues full of contemporary artwork and elegant European sculptural works. The venues are like houses open to the public. Experience the unique artwork and browse from one venue to another.


So what’s it really like?: Victor’s 1 and Victor’s 2 look like they got effed in the A by a decorator at one of Elton John’s birthday parties. You could boil the theme at Victor’s down to a mixture of Saddam Hussein’s mansion in the late 1980s, what Donald Trump’s house probably looks like and some footage of all Michael Jackson’s gilded rubbish from that Martin Bashir documentary. Disco balls placed beside provocative statues of women with erect nipples reading a fake book, placed on top of stacks of other fake books. A bar designed to look like the front of a car. The stuff in the blue room... And the music is a bizarre mix of mid-nineties trance and deep house. So basically it’s like what a particularly clueless Hollywood executive would imagine an underground bar in Krakow looks like.

Go there for: Victor himself is usually hanging around, which I noticed after laughing at the brochure then looking up and realising the man with the jet black toupee from the photo was at the next table. Oops. Also my favourite part was, after first walking in, feeling like at any moment some kind of drug deal, drug bust or drug-related shooting was about to take place.

Level of Crazy: 11. You need to see what’s in the blue room.

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