Saturday, February 28, 2009

They’re probably knee-deep in whores by now


Bachelor Party (1984)

Starring: Tom Hanks, Max the Mule, Tawny Kitaen, Adrian Zmed

The Gist: Goofy Tom Hanks from the 1980s is getting married to Some Girl with huge hair. She and her hair command that there not be any hookers at his bachelor party. His friends and their hair disagree and, whoops, invite nothing but hookers to the party. I just checked the film on IMDB - yes, sometimes I do research - and the most recent news story was about how the actress (Tawny Kitaen) who plays Some Girl in this film is still good friends with the husband she once beat up with a stiletto. Gotta love that.

And then what happens?: Lots and lots of really non-boring things. This film might be insanely misogynist but it is laugh-out-loud funny and here’s a run-down of my favourite parts: the Some Girl’s mother getting her hand glued to a Chippendale’s penis at the bachelorette party, Hanks and his posse tying his naked crazy nemesis up in bedsheets and dangling him off the side of his father’s hotel, Max the Sexual Mule doing lines of coke at the bachelor party then keeling over dead, the girls at the bachelorette party (including the mother) posing as hookers to sneak into the bachelor party and getting locked inside another room with a group of horny Japanese businessmen in their underpants… and so on.

See it for: They put the dead mule in an elevator and each time the doors open to reveal his poor legs in the air is hilarious.

Level of Crazy: 8. Quick, get the hookers in a circle!

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