Saturday, January 31, 2009

A McNugget for the Jesus?

The Three Kings/Les Rois Mages (2001)

Starring: Didier Bourdon, Bernard Campan, Pascal Légitimus (good name), Virginie de Clausade, Christophe Hémon

The Gist: The three kings, Balthazar, Melchior and Gaspard, fall through a wormhole on their way to deliver the gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the recently-born Jesus Christ. They all end up in present day Paris and have to come up with the money to fly to Israel. And back in time presumably. I’ve been to Israel, I think EL AL could work it out.

And then what happens?: They hook up with the moody, incredibly French Macha (de Clausade) and her no-good drug dealer boyfriend Guillaume (that should be warning enough to her, in films like this Guillaumes’ are almost always bad news). They save her life when she overdoses while Guillaume flees the scene (see?). The kings then start to dress like pimps and become famous. I left the room as they were making an appearance on a TV talk show.

See it for: The level of product placement for McDonald’s. The kings visit it several times and measure all their accumulated wealth in terms of the number of burgers they can buy. Now I’m wondering if they ever made it back to Jesus. If they did they probably threw the myrrh away and brought him something from the Eurosaver menu.

Level of Crazy: 4. Generic Euro-quirk. P.S. GO EAT A BIG MAC.

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